You met a single person on a serious dating site, Live a Serious Relationship and you like each other, you start seeing each other regularly or you have already started a romantic relationship. TripTogether You want to live a serious and lasting relationship. To be totally true and honest with her, should you tell her everything about your past?
Past Love Life – Live a Serious Relationship
It’s important for your lover to have some idea of the kind of love life you’ve had in the past. Is he the first in your life? Have you had one or more relationships that hurt you a lot? Do you find it difficult to trust the other in the couple, following what you have experienced? Have you had a large number of short-term relationships in the past, which does not prevent you from hoping to have a lasting relationship with him today?
It is also necessary for your love to know if, among the people around you, there is one of your “ex”… Knowing this can make her uncomfortable, but if you hide it from her and she finds out otherwise, she risks feeling deluded.
Giving details of your past romantic relationships is not required. It’s not forbidden either, provided you pay attention to the reactions of the person you are dating when you talk to them about it. She may not be taking it well.
A problem can arise if you don’t feel like talking about your romantic past, but your boyfriend really wants to know everything. You don’t necessarily have to try to please TripTogether him on this level. If it doesn’t do you any good to talk about your past, or to hear about his, you have to tell him.
Important Events From the Past – Live a Serious Relationship
When we consider a serious relationship, which we hope will last a lifetime, the important acts and events of our past concern our spouse insofar as they may have implications for the life together. I’ve been an alcoholic, I’ve been married before, I’ve given a child up for adoption, etc. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out the truth later, he may have a hard time forgiving you for hiding the truth from him.
It is not easy to talk about certain events, either because they touched us in a very intimate way, or because we are afraid of being rejected by the one we love.
It is especially important not to speak immediately of past events or acts that could be unwelcome by the other. Certainly not in the period when you communicate on the dating site. Nor in the first days when you will have met. The man you just met doesn’t know you yet. He hasn’t learned to appreciate you, to trust you. If you tell him about a shocking or destabilizing event from the first meetings. He will only see the risky side of a relationship with you, without yet knowing what is marvelous about being with you.
To be sure that the person you are walking with does not have the impression. That you have hidden something from them, you can tell them on. The first dates that there is something important from your past. That you tell him in a while, but it’s too difficult for you to talk to him about it right away. Thus, she will prepare herself for the idea of welcoming something destabilizing.
It’s best not to wait too long before talking about
The serious or disturbing elements of your past. 15 days ? A month ? Two months ? Not much more, otherwise your companion may experience it badly. He may feel that you hid something from him that he need to know to build his relationship with you, and even to decide whether to stay with you.
There is no obligation to tell each other everything about our past as a couple. It is even good that everyone can keep a secret garden. Even when we are married! And, all the more, as long as you communicate on. The dating site and you have not yet met, this is not the time to go too far in confidences (see Can we confide deeply in someone you’ve never seen? )
However, certain elements of our life also concern our future spouse. When these elements and events can also impact his life, and our life as a couple. It is not always easy to talk about the important elements of the past. Don’t talk about it before you’ve met face to face. And taken the time to get to know each other a little better. After several meetings in Lyon, Paris or Marseille.
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If the person you love really loves you too, if he has discover your qualities. And is touched by your charm, he will know how to accept you as you are, with your past.
On a serious dating site , you can meet singles. Who are really looking for a lasting relationship. And who are ready to overcome difficulties in order to be able to live. A loving relationship in the acceptance of the other.
To help you see more clearly in relationships on a dating site. Or in your emotional and romantic relationships in general, you can consult one of our dating site coaches , or our marriage and family